People change. Feelings fade. This is one thing the past year has taught me. As they always say, nothing in this world is permanent. Changes will constantly occur and you can’t do anything about it but cope up. It’s a sad truth of life and yet it can become something which we learn from. These changes can be good or bad. And sometimes, it’s just a matter of perception.
Funny how someone used to mean the world to you now becomes someone you hate, someone you despise. Someone who is now a stranger to you. The promises made before are now all broken and forgotten. You used to think forever is made possible with them. You didn’t know one day, you will get left behind. You knew that you had something that’ll last. You knew what you had was special. Something worth it. Something worth fighting for. But one day, all of it suddenly changes. You wake up feeling differently. All the good times are now gone. Gone forever. You didn’t know that things would fall apart sooner than you thought. You just didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know forever had to end. You didn’t know you two wouldn’t end up together. It’s just so sad and devastating thinking about all these could happen in just a snap of a finger. You two were once so in love and now became nothing. It’s something someone couldn’t prevent from happening. People really change. And feelings fade. But why did it happen? Why did they change, in a negative way? Why do two people have to fall in love and not end up together anyway? Why does forever have to be impossible? Why do people have to get left behind? Why do people have to leave? Why? The answer never seemed to be so clear and real.
It’s depressing how one major heartbreak changed your whole life and turned it upside down. The worst thing is, it didn’t change for the better. It sometimes feels unfair thinking why does everything have to happen to you, why do you need to get left behind, why do they have to leave. This leads to questions like: Do you ever think you’re worthy of anything? Do you deserve everything? Why can’t you just be happy? Everyone knows that pain is inevitable. And not everything is worth suffering for. But why are there still some who grieve deeply? Why do they have to feel too much pain causing them to question the life they live? Why.
Of course you would end up asking when will all this grieving end? When will the pain go away? When will you be happy? All these running through your mind. You seek for answers but they won’t be easy to find. But one thing’s for sure, only time can tell. You can’t grieve forever. That would be impossible. Time heals all wounds. You’ll get through everything. Eventually. Just put up a little faith. Focus on the things that make you happy in a way. Surround yourself with good things, good people. Know your worth. And learn to stop giving so much fuck about everything. And lastly, learn to love yourself. After all, no one can help you rise other than yourself.